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ChrystalainJolene
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Name: Chrystalain
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Diego
Birthday: 8/6/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: I like Jesus, I am interested in many things, these are the years to try new things, bring em on! So far I have tried Sushi (which I like) and Inagi (sp) - that was gross, and Fondu, which is amazing too!
Expertise: I am an expert in messing up conversations! haha...I am not really an expert in anything, and that's ok :)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Government
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  SurfCaliStyle
MSN: surfcalistyle@hotmail.com
Member Since:
11/16/2004
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| I don't understand why there is a need for people to get married after graduation. For some reason we have marriage in our minds as the obvious next step after graduating from college. It's not necessarily the next step. Commissioning ceremonies always bring this up in me, graduations too. What is next, after graduation? A lot of people do get married. why? I don't know. I can't lie and say I haven't felt the "want" of marriage. Supporting husband, double income, a "home" .....its an illusion that I would gladly fall into.
but then!
what am I doing? I am right where I want to be too. I am going to grad school, starting a career, hopefully starting a successful career. I look and see that "want" of marriage, family, etc.....but then where does my passion and desires come in? where does marriage fit into my plan? can't have both, can you?
haha...then again, maybe its cause all graduations are in the spring.
stupid spring. puts confusion and false "obvious" next steps in your head. don't start dating or get engaged in the spring, you're not thinking straight man!!!
Chrystalain Jolene
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| so last time I asked about christians v. non christians and why non christians are so accepting, etc etc.
I realized this last week, that sometimes we can be "bored" in our faith. I was talking to a wise mentor and we were talking about boredom in Christianity, and she related it to "doing the right thing" and I think this is where I'm at right now. As of right this second, I feel like Christianity is where I get my morals. You know, don't do the bad stuff. I feel like this is something I should have gone through when I was like 15.
I think I need God. Actually I know I do. I know that there isn't anything really worth living for in this world besides Him. and I'm trying to figure out why people live, if they don't know, or are ignorning or rejecting God.
such great people though, but just living for the world, or more correctly, for themselves. I think if nothing else, I would rather live to help other people, to keep other people safe; not just myself.
I know even I can be selfish at times, but sometimes people bring a whole new level of selfishness to my definition! haha in the truest sense of the word, living for ones self.
anyway. enough ranting. I should sleep.
Chrystalain Jolene
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| Wait....
why are non-christians so accepting? what's wrong with us then?
I think I might like one.
internal debate.
Chrystalain Jolene
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| My heart is so full right now. That is the best way that I can describe what I'm feeling at the present moment. And it wasn't some guy! hahaha...it was more like 5 :D
I am so beyond blessed. I don't deserve anything that God has given me. I am one of the most ungrateful people ever, but I still loved every second of what he gave me last night...
we had our quarterly Finals dinner last night to celebrate a lot actually! We celebrated our accomplishments for this quarter, my graduating and getting into grad school and Jay's Birthday :D
there wasn't anything extra-special or out of the ordinary last night. We had dinner at PF Changs; we ate our hearts out and had some wine (because Jay could have some now! -- we are ALL over 21 now!) and ate what seemed to be the amount of the great wall of china, in a chocolate cake :D
we had some laughs and then left to come to hang out at my house. a few people had finals, so they went home to study, but me and the boys came to hang out. we just sat around talking about random things and then listened to Brian's new song (newly released as of yesterday) and watched my final documentary for COMT 120. Then we just started talking about nothing exciting or in particular, except that Pirates comes out on May 25, then we started to watch movie trailers and the dubbed GI Joe PSAs. again nothing out of the ordinary. it was sort of a flashback to my Junior year, the best year of my life so far. We never did anything out of the ordinary that year, except hang out together and just "be" ...so that's what we did last night. and that is what has made my heart full. these guys are my family, there was a strong sense of nostalgia and a strong sense of the bond we all share.
I guess graduating has made me reflect a bit on my time here at UCSD. The first year was rough, the second year is where I met some of my best friends, my third year was irreplacable, my fourth year was rough, but I got through it and now this year, is a year of reflection and transition. I'm so glad to have been joined together with these guys, I love them so much, and I don't know if they'll ever know how much I care for them and would be there for them in any way I could. But anyway. again last night was fun, and I hope even after we graduate, we can do it at least once a year, maybe have our Finals dinner tradition transition to a yearly weekend so that no matter where we are in life, we can stay close together and still have that time to do nothing in particular :D
So here's to memories old and new, and the knowledge that there are more to come!!!
Chrystalain Jolene | | |
| So apparently I am being fasted! How funny is that. Someone is fasting girls, only in a romantic sense (not friend sense) and so they are fasting me. I think it is hilarious.
I wonder sometimes...
anyway...this week has been hectic and continues on so...work, school, and everything in between, but mostly work and school. School is killing me, but less than 3 weeks to go! wow, I can't believe that I am graduating! It's insane!
this week has also been a struggle for me personally. I can feel God attracting myself to him, and I seriously yearn for every moment I can be in his presence, but why don't I just got sit in his presence? Why do I torture myself with the yearning, it doesn't make any sense. I want to learn to sit in his presence anywhere. I don't want it to have to be at a prayer meeting, or at a worship thing, I want to just be able to do it. so yeah.
another thing I've been wondering about is why I feel the way I do sometimes. Why do I continue to confuse myself? And why do boys and relationships have to be so freaking complicated. I know most tv shows relationships are complicated, but sometimes, they're just not, and people can work through things, and in real life sometimes people aren't shallow, unless they're me, and yeah things just work out better for other people. and then I realized something, of all the couples I think are "perfect" there exists 2 non-confrontational people, who would rather keep the peace than anything else. Now that doesn't mean that they don't truly adore each other, but it means they would rather just not make a big deal of differences. hmmm...life is more interesting when you are a confrontational person, don't you think? I'm starting to think my dramaticism is good, omg somebody help me now!!!
anyway. I wish I could be somewhere else with Jesus and whoever God has for me to marry.
That is all.
Chrystalain Jolene
p.s. To DANO: The most delicate creature at Sea World is, ME! J/K that is a great question young man! Well, sensitivity wise I'd say the Manatees. They are super sensitive to touch and also temperature. They prefer 70 degree water to live in, which means if it drops to even 68 degrees they will move (migrate) to water that is over 69 degrees. The water in our exhibit at Sea World is a comfortable 76 degrees for them ;)
ANY OTHER SEA WORLD ANIMAL QUESTIONS? BRING EM ON!! ;) | | |
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